The Burden of Choice
What to do with a life that has unlimited paths?
We are so back, friends.
To be honest, the past few weeks have been quite challenging. Between the election, work stressors, travel, and the crush of end-of-year responsibilities, I’m exhausted. I’m looking forward to the rest and relaxation of the holidays, but first, I want to share some of the things I’ve read, watched and listened to since we last met here. I couldn’t miss an opportunity to introduce you to your next favorite piece of media before you head off for your holiday breaks.
Let’s get into it!
The Husbands
I picked this book up after hearing a TikToker talk about it (and by “picked it up,” I mean bought it on Amazon for my Kindle). It was such a fun read.
The book follows Lauren, a mid-thirties woman living in London who returns home from a bachelorette party to find a strange man in her flat. She quickly discovers that despite having no memory of this person, he is her husband. He walks up and into her attic to retrieve something; strangely, another husband comes out. And so on and so on. Lauren has herself a classic case of the neverending husbands. There are some she likes, some she hates, and others she tolerates. Throughout the book, she goes through phases of how she handles this conundrum she’s in. In one moment, she focuses on only getting and keeping an attractive or fit husband; in another, she creates a laundry list of impossible criteria to determine who to send back into the attic for another pick.
As you’ve probably guessed by now, the book is a larger commentary on modern dating and the ubiquitousness of dating apps. Through Lauren’s experiences with the husbands, the author reminds us of how confusing and uncomfortable dating can be today.
Millennials, in particular, are the first generation of daters who have had this much choice when choosing a partner. Cell phones and the increasingly interconnected nature of our world have meant that, theoretically, we have the potential to meet our match anywhere and at any time. That choice is both liberating and, at times, soul-crushingly overwhelming. How do you ever know you’ve picked the “right” match when so many other choices exist?
Anyone who has ever used a dating app would tell you that, at some point, they’ve felt like they were playing a game with each swipe. I hear women, in particular, share with me all the time how they are tired of the dating app rat race. All of the swiping left and right, failed the first, second, and third dates, and getting your hopes up and down is enough to break the strongest person.
My main takeaway from the book was that there is no wrong way to date or to love–it all depends on what makes you feel the most comfortable. In a world of infinite choices, you only need to focus on what feels right for you. You’ll never know if you’re making the “right” choice, and you can always change your mind.
The Call
I’m a big fan of This American Life on NPR. I have been for quite some time. I was listening recently and came across a repeat episode that I hadn’t heard before called “The Call.” It was the most compassionate piece of media I’ve ever consumed on the topic of drug addiction. The episode follows a nurse in Georgia named Jessie, who is an operator on a hotline called “Never Use Alone” that people can call when they’re about to do drugs so that they won’t potentially overdose alone.
The hotline was started by a group of people struggling with drug addiction who wanted others to have a virtual safe place to use without the fear of getting themselves or their friends in trouble. Jessie decided to become a hotline operator as a response to her own daughter’s drug addiction. After years of trying to convince her daughter to get clean, she realized that she was only alienating and putting harmful pressure on her. Instead, she decided to focus on something in her control: doing what she could to keep her daughter alive.
This episode does something that is, unfortunately, so rare these days: it tells the complicated, human story of drug addiction from the perspective of loved ones but in a way that treats the people struggling with that addiction with dignity and respect rather than like ugly problems to solve. It was a great reminder of what good can happen when you empower people to change their own lives and how a little bit of empathy and compassion can go a long way.
Normal Gossip
My friend José recommended this podcast to me, and I have been obsessed with it ever since. I haven’t been able to stop talking about it. I tend to listen to podcasts about current events and heavier topics, but this one is an easy listen and a true gem. In each episode, the host invites a guest, usually a comedian or other funny public person, to talk about a piece of anonymized gossip submitted by a listener. None of the gossip is heavy. No one gets seriously hurt or dies, and none of the story’s consequences are high stakes. With every episode, you can guarantee you’ll have a good laugh and won’t have to risk hearing something that will bring your mood down. I recommend starting with this episode about a small-town New England fish mystery. Yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds.
Apple TV
Apple TV is home to some of the best television shows available. Yep, I said it. If you’re not watching Apple TV shows, you’re missing out on a slate of fantastic shows in genres across the board. My personal favorites right now are “Bad Sisters,” “Silo,” and “Disclaimer," the latter of which I just finished binge-watching (Cate Blanchett, they could never make me hate you). I’ve never been much of a sci-fi movie gal, but the show “Severance” made me one, and I’ve been hooked on the genre ever since. You can tell that Apple puts its money where its mouth is when it comes to cinema-level tv quality and securing some of the best names in the business to act their butts off in these shows.
Survivor Season 47
I’ve been watching “Survivor” since the show debuted in 2000. I vividly remember sitting down with my mom to watch episodes on Thursday nights and waiting to see what crazy new challenge the contestants would have to do next or what shocking gameplay would happen. I stopped watching the show as closely when I went to college, but I picked it up again this season and have been reminded why I love it so much. Some things have changed, which is to be expected of a show that has been on for 47 seasons with the same host, but the grit and thrill of the original game is still there.
That’s it for this week!
See you next time